Tag: starting over

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Funny facts that make you realize you settled in a new location

settle in

 

Starting in a new location is always hard and requires some time, as you can read in my past post. But after a while, you will finally realize you settled in your new place. I think there are some recurring funny facts that show you have found a new home away from home. I found 5 of those signs, do you know more?

 

You are actually using the local language more than you thought

The first signal that you settled in your new place comes from the language. If you speak the local one, you will one day find yourself thinking or dreaming in it. The first time it happens makes you feel really powerful and ready to rule the world. If you don’t speak it, you will still pick some expressions and start using them. And the same for your friends, so you almost create a new language with those few words you know.

When I arrived in Chile I hadn’t being practicing Spanish for several years. So, honestly, at first I was very shy showing my language skills and I felt like if I had forgotten everything. It was also quite hard to understand the people because I had studied in Spain and the accent in Chile is very different. But I still remember the morning when I woke up and found myself thinking in Chilean. I also realized this is how I had dreamt that night. It was a great confidence boost and from that point I started speaking only Spanish to all the South Americans.

 

When in Rome…

You know you now feel at home in a new place when after a certain time, you find yourself acting like the locals. Without even noticing it, something that looked so impossible and far from you, becomes usual and normal. You will just find yourself doing it. This feels weird but in a positive way, as you basically overcame your own limitation.

I learned to ride a scooter here in Bali. At first I was really scared: the traffic is bad, the rules are different, the drivers are crazy and the riders are so reckless. I thought I would only go very slow and respect all the rules like if I was in Europe. But this was only for the first days. It didn’t take me too long to realize I needed to do like the locals in order to survive. So, I now zigzag between the cars and go even on the pavement. Sorry mum, I know you don’t want to hear this!

 

settle in

Sooner or later, you will try to cook local food

After a couple of months in a place, you have adjusted to so many things, that you almost feel like a local. So, you think you are ready to cook some local food. It’s the ultimate sign that you are not a visitor anymore. Unless your friend’s grandmother taught you the tricks of their cuisine, your experiments will miserably fail. No matter how hard you try and how much effort you put, there will always be a little secret you need to know to make it really authentic.

When I was in Miami for my semester abroad, I had friends from all over the world. We wanted to celebrate Thanks Giving with a traditional dinner, since no one had family there. We decided it would be at a friend’s place and we all prepared something. The host was in charge of the turkey, of course, and I helped her because I love cooking. Neither of us had ever made a roasted turkey nor saw anyone doing it, but we thought we would just follow the recipe. Despite our really hard work, the outcome was not as good as expected: it was so dry we could barely eat it…

 

You buy something local at the supermarket that is actually not what you expected

In the first weeks when you are in a new place, you would go to the supermarket and buy food and brands you know. At least when you eat at home, you want to have something that makes you feel comfortable. But once you feel settled you think it’s time for you to try something new. You walk out the grocery store feeling really cool and can’t wait to try that local food that looked so amazing. What usually happens when you try it, is that you realize you bought something completely different and that what seemed like a dessert, is actually something more similar to a sausage roll…

I wanted to buy very simple crackers here in Bali. I don’t speak Bahasa and found a package that had a writing and a picture that made me think it contained wholegrain crackers. So, I got home, prepared a guacamole and was very happy to eat it with my crackers. Too bad they were cookies with a mix of sugar and some spice on them. Definitely not the best match for my dip! Lesson learned: always translate the writing on a package of a brand you don’t know.  No matter how settled in a culture you feel, you’re still a foreigner who doesn’t know everything.

 

The way you dress changes

When you feel at home in a new location, you also realize the way you dress has changed. According to your packing style, you brought fewer or more of the cloths you would usually wear, but every place has a different unofficial dress code. It doesn’t mean you will completely change your wardrobe, you will just adapt it to where you leave.

For Italian people, for instance, flip flops are just for the beach. You don’t wear them in a city and you especially don’t wear them at work. And I nestle thought I would never use them anywhere else. However, here in Bali everybody wears them all the time. Also, the co-working space I work from, is by the beach and I really like walking there when I take a break. The first days I used my nice shoes and sandals, but they turned out not to be the best option for sandy feet. Plus, the wet season is approaching and it’s raining very heavily almost every day. So, I felt defeated and started using flip flops to go to work. At my biggest surprise. I think this is the sign that I really settled in. When in Rome…

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Why starting a new life where you don’t know anyone will make you a better person

starting a new life

I just arrived in Bali and, for the fifth time in the past five years, I’m starting a new life. You would say that I have some experience, but I can tell you, it’s hard and scary every single time. On top of that, I’m completely alone.

It was the same when I moved to Miami and New York, and they turned out to be among the greatest experiences of my life… So, I’m ready for this new challenge.

Starting over in a place where you don’t know anyone has actually a lot of advantages. It is a priceless experience that will make you become a better person!

You can be yourself 100%

I think the greatest advantage of starting a new life where you don’t know anyone is that you can be yourself. You don’t need to wear your social mask because people around you don’t’ expect anything from you. As much as you don’t do it from them either.

You can sort of reset your past and move on. No-one knows about your mistakes nor embarrassing moments. You are a blank page you need to write. And the main character is going to be your true self.

You are forced to go out and meet people.

Unless you want to be lonely all the time, you have to make the effort. Being lazy on the couch is not an option plus you are excited to see the new place and all its cool offerings.

Honestly, it’s easier to start with other foreigners. As you might share the same feelings and experiences, you understand each other better. If you are both new, you’ll have found a great buddy to explore and do as much as you can. So, try and find out where the expats hang out. If you are a digital nomad it’s really easy, just go to a co-working space and talk to the people.

I tend not to stick with Italians too much because I like having friends from around the world. After all, if I wanted to be among Italians, I could have stayed in Milan, which would also have been much easier. So, I suggest to try to be with different people from different backgrounds.

Once you feel comfortable and settled, go to the locals. You won’t have the full experience of a place if you don’t’ mingle with the locals. How do you meet them? Usually the best place is work. When I was in London, I was one of the few foreigners of the office, so I mingled with my colleagues. Here in Bali I started with the driver that picked me up at the airport. I asked questions to understand the culture and also learnt a few expressions in Bahasa Indonesia. I also talked with staff from my hotel and the manager became my first friend.

Wherever you are, be creative and just talk to as many people as possible.

You will learn a lot about yourself

I used to be very shy and barely talk to strangers. And I thought this was an aspect of my personality that would never change. But guess what? Living around the world made me realize I was wrong.

New York was definitely a great place for that: people would approach me on the street for whatever reason, I made friends on the train or with the person sitting at the restaurant table next to me. I loved it and became like this.

When you are new in a place you’ll spend some time by yourself. I recommend to express all your thoughts and feelings in a diary. Even therapists say it’s beneficial!

I do it every time and read those pages months or even years later. It’s so interesting! I look back and see how much I’ve changed. And I often realize that what seemed a huge deal at that time turned out to be the best opportunity ever.

You become more tolerant.

Let’s face it, being alone in a new environment is damn hard! You have to make all the efforts and most of the times you don’t understand some behaviours. What looks normal to you is considered weird or maybe even rude in this new country and vice versa.

You get upset when people don’t understand you, are arrogant and impatient. After all, no matter how good you speak the local language, you are still a foreigner. You will also meet some great people that will guide you in this new culture, teach you some slang and give you some tips to survive. That’s just life, some people are open and some are not.

When you have been in these situations, you realize that in the past you might have been the arrogant one with people in need. I can tell you, next time you’ll become a lot more tolerant and nice. You’ll actually become the helpful person. Being alone in a new country has the power to make you better!

You can make new amazing friends

I think this is probably the best part of being alone in a new country. As you are forced to meet people, be nice to them and make the extra effort, there’s a big chance that you’ll make new amazing friends.

As a result of living around the world, I can say I know people almost everywhere and from anywhere. I have some very special ones from home, but I also have good friends from all my adventures.

What I observed is that sharing an experience will make relationships stronger faster. Even if you move on to a new place, the friends you previously met will usually stay, along with the amazing memories. It’s sort of an unbreakable bond and when you meet again, it will look like you haven’t seen each other for 10 minutes.

Sometimes you’ll realize that you get along better with fellow nomads than people from home. They understand you better and their personality is more similar to yours. This is normal. But this doesn’t mean you’ll lose your childhood friends. You just have to make the effort to involve them in your new life, keep in touch, tell them how you feel and how happy you are to be with them when you’re back. It’s not too hard nowadays, technology is on your side!

 

Starting in a new place where you don’t know anybody is hard, no doubt. Sometimes you are sad, lonely and wish you were in your comfort zone. But you just need to give yourself time to adapt and you’ll have the time of your life.

I listed a few reasons why I think that starting a new life alone is better. This is my personal opinion that I formed through my experience. But I wanna know about you. How do you prefer to travel/move to a new place?